I know I don't really update all that much, well as much as I should or use to.  It seems as if I don't have the time for the things I had in the past, and it flat out sucks because I feel as if I can't breath anymore in this relationship.  I don't talk or hang out with friends anymore because I find myself without any friends now.  I just sit and waste my summer away while I wait on Ronnie to get off work.  I don't drive or anything.  I've come to the conclusion that I honestly suck.  I mean, I honestly do love him, but it all feels as if it has become more routine to say those three words than actually taking the time to say it and mean it.  I'm not sure where I stand.  Just too much has been going on. 

Mel was here.  It was Fan-FUCKING-tastic.  Actually, it wasn't all that I wanted it to be.  We didn't get to do much because of lack of rides (due to my part because I didn't get my license).  I did enjoy seeing her though, she's a great gal.  It was saddening to see her go. 

I did in fact manage to land myself in the hospital Friday.  They tried to take my appendix because of the staggering pain I was in, but it turned out that the pain was in fact my kidney that was swollen because of an infection.  By the time I got out of the doctor's office and the hospital I ended up looking like I had some bad "habits" involing needles.  I got my culture results back yesterday and it turns out the infection was caused by E. Coli poisoning, so all you kiddies remember to be careful when you are handling chicken.  Tomorrow I go pee in a cup to determine whether or not they put me back in the hospital.

I think I found my cat Leonard, but it will take a good plan to get him back.  The neighbors on the corner who said they hadn't seen him, and suggested he had been eaten my cyotes, have been spotted with him in their window.  We are still coming up with a plan to steal my baby back. 

Anyone who would like a kitten should call me because Estel had her little a month ago.  There are two identical solid creamy orange colored kittens left. 

Allen left me on a jet plane today.  First stop New Jersey, second Iraq. 

Right now I don't know how to handle him not being around for a year, saying goodbye before he got on that bus today felt unbearable.  It's honestly like loosing a brother for a year.  I don't know who's going to be giving me my 2 am Bible Pep Talks when I just need someone to give me advice or just listen.

I'm pretty sure he's coming back.  He looked like he was about to go trick or treating today, he probably doesn't weigh 130 pounds and he's suppose to be a bodyguard, yeah right.

I slept til 10 tonight, I'll probably be up all night by myself because ronnie is passed out on the floor like there's no tomorrow.

No birthday party at all for me now, tis such a sad sad thing. 

Leonard has been missing since Tuesday when I let him out to play.  I love him more than anything and I want him to get his ass home.  I think the "bad" neighbors took him in, but aren't going to admit it.

Estel is pregnant, and she accidently got out this morning, she hasn't come home.  This is bad.

Well, it has been brought to my family's attention that we live in a "neighborhood" that obides by bylaws which the previous owner of my house failed to inform us of.

My street (neighborhood) is build on a lagoon, which means we don't use septic tank or sewage systems.  Well, there is a family that is a bitch to deal with on our street.  They decided to have a septic put in, their men broke the lagoon line and basically everyone's shit runs into their yard.  The contractor, retired banker, engineer, and plumber on our street offered to fix it free of charge, but they declined.  Instead they have decided to report to the health department and in return everyone on the street get's sued $25,000 a day until the problem is resolved.  I suppose the family who wallows in antisocialness chooses to wade in shit for a while.

So, the bitch family is on everyone's cases, which means everyone has to obide by the set bylaws or get sued, and the only way the bylaws can be changed is to go through court with the opposing family.  I think this is a bunch of shit, because they are the only ones on the street who actually give a fuck about the damn party.  I would be breaking the bylaw that states there will be no loud noise after 6 p.m. on a week night.  Therefore there is no way that my party can go on unless I can find a different place.  I'm fucked, so no 17th birthday party for me.  Please tell anybody that you think may have been invited.